I've just finished watching the amazing documentary 'four wives one man' following a polygamous family living in Iran. At times it was funny, but mostly it was hearbreaking. It also raises questions about the morality of polygamous marriages.
What was sad, was not that he had more than one wife, but how he treated his ladies. They had no respect, and were valued so little. His fourth wife had already tried to set herself on fire twice (though we don't know whether this was before she married him), and said she would kill herself if he married again. The end of the film came when he brought home wife number 5 - who was also extremely young.
He admitted hitting his wifes, and the wives themselves told of a catalogue of abuse. He would play them off against eachother, and they bickered and argued. The only uplifting part of the film was his mother, who was extremely outspoken. Her first words were 'my son likes pussy' - what a trooper she is!!
Is it possible to be happy in such a marriage? I mean, the unhappiness those women experienced is not just becuase of polygamy, but because they married a horrible man. I can't see how they can be happy, because I think the essence of a marriage is partnership - which is something they didn't have.
5 men sounds in theory fabulous, but in reality - one is more than enough ;-)
Friday, 19 September 2008
Monday, 1 September 2008
BBC discusses homosexuality in the Bible
Very interesting article.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3205727.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3205727.stm
Monday, 21 July 2008
Christian room sharing ettiquite
In ye olde Christian days, males and females would not share rooms until they were married. whatever people think about sex before marriage (and for now that post has been and gone), I'm left wondering what the correct view is on sharing a room. Virtually all (if not exculsivly all) christian couples I know will share a hotel room on holidays, weekends away, weddings etc.
So, thats acceptable, but if you go away in a mixed group, and sharing a room with someone of the same gender becomes acceptable, people tend to do that instead. Does that mean its only acceptable to share a room with a boyf if there is no other option other than spending a fortune on 2 rooms? Or is that the done thing because people are worried others will judge them for room sharing when its not strictly necessary?
Meh, someone should write a manual on what to do about this stuff.
Incidentally, this is purely hypothetical at the moment. Me and the man have not stayed away in any hotels, or have any booked. Also, am quite happy sharing a room with him wherever. The exception of course might be with a group of people who dissaprove, who force us to share seperate rooms. Time will tell I guess.
So, thats acceptable, but if you go away in a mixed group, and sharing a room with someone of the same gender becomes acceptable, people tend to do that instead. Does that mean its only acceptable to share a room with a boyf if there is no other option other than spending a fortune on 2 rooms? Or is that the done thing because people are worried others will judge them for room sharing when its not strictly necessary?
Meh, someone should write a manual on what to do about this stuff.
Incidentally, this is purely hypothetical at the moment. Me and the man have not stayed away in any hotels, or have any booked. Also, am quite happy sharing a room with him wherever. The exception of course might be with a group of people who dissaprove, who force us to share seperate rooms. Time will tell I guess.
Paranoia
There's wanting to keep this an anony-blog, and there's stupid paranoia. I have the latter. I managed to forget the addres of this blog, my username, my password, and the email address I used to create it. Great. The result of which was me being blocked out for several weeks.
Well I'm glad to say I'm back in again. And ready to post!
Well I'm glad to say I'm back in again. And ready to post!
Friday, 4 July 2008
Gender and pregnant blokes
A few days ago, the worlds 'first pregnant man' gave birth to a healthy little baby. Of course, this wasn't a marvel of modern times and medicine, but bcause the man in question was a female-male transexual. Whilst he has been living as a man for a long period of time, when they operated on him, he opted to keep his female reproductive organs. Now with the help of a sperm donor he became pregnant.
This raises some strange issues. As I was going round Tesco's earlier, buying chicken (if you must know) I overheard two women talking about this - and whether he was a woman or a man. They came to the conclusion that female reproductive organs = female.
I'm not sure its quite as simple as that - eg for intersex people, but if you have a baby, and you are genertically a female, in my mind you ARE female. Now I don't mind calling Thomas Beatie a man, if it makes him feel more in touch with himself, but its very much in the same way as when you say to a fat person that they are not fat. You're not speaking the truth, but you are speaking to reduce distress.
Most transexuals I don't have a problem with labelling them with thier post operative gender, by Thomas Beatie seems to be taking the best from both genders. He wants to be a 'man' yet does something so intrinsically female.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
On Blasphemy
Returning to the topic of swearing that I discussed yesterday, I realised I forgot to discuss Blasphemy.
Shock, horror, I actually agree with most of my contemporaries here, that blaspheming is bad!
Again, it depends on the meaning behind it, but as a Christian, I do reel slightly (internally, not visably) when someone takes my God's name in vain.
Though when I was young I did get confused as to why I could not say 'oh god' as my friends did in conversation, yet mentioning God in church, or in songs was absolutley fine. I guess that was my child's brain. Though it reminds me now, and when I eventually do have children I shall point it out, that it is the meaning behind what you say that is important, not just the words you use.
Shock, horror, I actually agree with most of my contemporaries here, that blaspheming is bad!
Again, it depends on the meaning behind it, but as a Christian, I do reel slightly (internally, not visably) when someone takes my God's name in vain.
Though when I was young I did get confused as to why I could not say 'oh god' as my friends did in conversation, yet mentioning God in church, or in songs was absolutley fine. I guess that was my child's brain. Though it reminds me now, and when I eventually do have children I shall point it out, that it is the meaning behind what you say that is important, not just the words you use.
To shag or not to shag
Had a phone call from a friend today. We discussed various issues, then came onto the issue of boyfriends. She flat out asked me whether I'd had sex with mine yet. I changed the subject. Again she asked if I'd had sex with him. Frankly who cares? except that she does.
She took my refusal to answer the question as a yes, and then proceeded to tell me that she wasn't judging me and that God forgives. Yes, I know God forgives, and I'm eternally grateful for that, but in my opinion I haven't done anything that requires forgiveness.
Why can't we have a discussion in Christian circles about this where solid theological principles are put forward for the 'traditional view' - rather than assumptions about what the Bible says. I know conscioneses can be decietful but usually if I sin, I know it, I feel guilty. Perhaps i push the guilt to one side and carry on regardless (and then guilt hits back a second time) but I usually get some kind of inkling. Do I get even the smallest inkling that premarital sex is wrong: nope!
I would like to hear arguments from traditional christians that are not centred round the following:
1) the Bible is anti sexual immorality and therefore pre-marital sex. A little circular don't you think.
2) anything based on old testament marriage laws. Since we reject laws on girls being forced to marry rapists, and forced marriage is generally shunned, lets not use it to maintain an archaic principle.
I will do a far larger post on this topic at some stage (maybe with research and everything...) but for now, I highlight the following:
1) in OT days people had many wives - Solomon had 10,000. Hardly comparable to todays marriage...
2) Marriage was often between a teenage girl and an (often older) boy. There was no dating because women were married off so young.
3) The woman had no say in who she would marry, or indeed if she would marry.
4) It was perfectly acceptable to kidnap and rape a teenage girl, and make her your wife.
5) Loss of virginity was seen more to violate the father's property (eg the girl) rather than have any significance for the girl
6) The concequnces of sex were greater in the past - eg there were no reliable contraceptives. Whilst I admit we seperate sex from babies too much now, having sex in the past meant there was a considerable risk of pregnancy.
7) As women were not allowed to inherit, keeping a pure genetic line was important.
My biggest justification for why it is ok is that as Christians, we reject even NT instructions like (a) women wearing hats in church (b) women not speaking in church, we reject those as being merely cultural. The Bible is quite specific and explicit about this yet the majority of Christians feel they can ignore it. At the same time, we insist on remaining a virgin until our wedding night, despite there being no clear commandment on this. Just a few easily pliable verses on 'sexual immorality'
Me and my friend are gonna have a good chat about this! I'm not seeking to persuade her she should be having sex, but I'm fed up of people criticising me for doing so. Not that many do it to my back, but I know thats what they think. Also, its annoying that I have to hide it from so many people. How can that be right?
She took my refusal to answer the question as a yes, and then proceeded to tell me that she wasn't judging me and that God forgives. Yes, I know God forgives, and I'm eternally grateful for that, but in my opinion I haven't done anything that requires forgiveness.
Why can't we have a discussion in Christian circles about this where solid theological principles are put forward for the 'traditional view' - rather than assumptions about what the Bible says. I know conscioneses can be decietful but usually if I sin, I know it, I feel guilty. Perhaps i push the guilt to one side and carry on regardless (and then guilt hits back a second time) but I usually get some kind of inkling. Do I get even the smallest inkling that premarital sex is wrong: nope!
I would like to hear arguments from traditional christians that are not centred round the following:
1) the Bible is anti sexual immorality and therefore pre-marital sex. A little circular don't you think.
2) anything based on old testament marriage laws. Since we reject laws on girls being forced to marry rapists, and forced marriage is generally shunned, lets not use it to maintain an archaic principle.
I will do a far larger post on this topic at some stage (maybe with research and everything...) but for now, I highlight the following:
1) in OT days people had many wives - Solomon had 10,000. Hardly comparable to todays marriage...
2) Marriage was often between a teenage girl and an (often older) boy. There was no dating because women were married off so young.
3) The woman had no say in who she would marry, or indeed if she would marry.
4) It was perfectly acceptable to kidnap and rape a teenage girl, and make her your wife.
5) Loss of virginity was seen more to violate the father's property (eg the girl) rather than have any significance for the girl
6) The concequnces of sex were greater in the past - eg there were no reliable contraceptives. Whilst I admit we seperate sex from babies too much now, having sex in the past meant there was a considerable risk of pregnancy.
7) As women were not allowed to inherit, keeping a pure genetic line was important.
My biggest justification for why it is ok is that as Christians, we reject even NT instructions like (a) women wearing hats in church (b) women not speaking in church, we reject those as being merely cultural. The Bible is quite specific and explicit about this yet the majority of Christians feel they can ignore it. At the same time, we insist on remaining a virgin until our wedding night, despite there being no clear commandment on this. Just a few easily pliable verses on 'sexual immorality'
Me and my friend are gonna have a good chat about this! I'm not seeking to persuade her she should be having sex, but I'm fed up of people criticising me for doing so. Not that many do it to my back, but I know thats what they think. Also, its annoying that I have to hide it from so many people. How can that be right?
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
Swearing (and yes, for those of a sensitive disposition, swear words are used in this entry)
Just wondering what people's views are on this?
My view is that swearing in general should be avoided because (a) it makes you look uncreative in your vocalbulary (b) some people get offended by it (c) sometimes its just not that descriptive. For example, saying 'shit I dropped my pen' doesn't make sense - dropping your pen has nothing to do with poo.
However, I think its the meaning behind words that are more important. my family disagrees. You are faced with a problem. This may or may not be a hypothetical problem depending on how much travelling you do. You encounter a village called 'Cocks'.
This village actually exists. The picture on the left is the village sign. hahaha.
Whilst I would probably blush a little whilst saying the name of the place, I can't see anything wrong with actually saying it. I do not mean 'penis' - I mean 'that village'.
My family however would think it was still wrong to say the place name. I don't get it? Does a certain combiantion of sounds make a bad word? Isn't it the intention behind it that can make something bad?
Its like, if my aunty had to relay something soemone had said and it included a swear word, she wouldn't say it, but would isntead spell it. How does that make it any better? I never understood.
Also, what is the definition of a swear word? there seems to be a middling category of them. I'm not quite sure what my family thinks of those because I haven't gone through a list with them.
They seem to be ok with my using the word 'bitch', and i may have used 'crappy' though probably not 'crap'.
Of course in Court (yeah, I'm a lawyer) and in plays I've done etc, I've used them all. Am I gonna burn in hell for this? I'm guessing not.
My view is that swearing in general should be avoided because (a) it makes you look uncreative in your vocalbulary (b) some people get offended by it (c) sometimes its just not that descriptive. For example, saying 'shit I dropped my pen' doesn't make sense - dropping your pen has nothing to do with poo.
However, I think its the meaning behind words that are more important. my family disagrees. You are faced with a problem. This may or may not be a hypothetical problem depending on how much travelling you do. You encounter a village called 'Cocks'.
This village actually exists. The picture on the left is the village sign. hahaha.
Whilst I would probably blush a little whilst saying the name of the place, I can't see anything wrong with actually saying it. I do not mean 'penis' - I mean 'that village'.
My family however would think it was still wrong to say the place name. I don't get it? Does a certain combiantion of sounds make a bad word? Isn't it the intention behind it that can make something bad?Its like, if my aunty had to relay something soemone had said and it included a swear word, she wouldn't say it, but would isntead spell it. How does that make it any better? I never understood.
Also, what is the definition of a swear word? there seems to be a middling category of them. I'm not quite sure what my family thinks of those because I haven't gone through a list with them.
They seem to be ok with my using the word 'bitch', and i may have used 'crappy' though probably not 'crap'.
Of course in Court (yeah, I'm a lawyer) and in plays I've done etc, I've used them all. Am I gonna burn in hell for this? I'm guessing not.
Weird Christian Traditions.
When I was growing up, the following were touted by some members of my family/friends as being 'unbilbical'. Does anyone have any more they can add to the list?
- Women wearing trousers
- Women going to church without hats
- Having Bible verses displayed on powerpoint (because they should have their Bibles with them... screw the newcomer obviously)
- Pubs
- Alcohol
- The cinema
- Doing anything of use on a sunday - including homework
- TV on a Sunday (but radio's are fine, as are newspapers)
- TV on Good Friday (again, radio is fine)
- All swearing (but it is fine if you spell out the word)
- Clubs
I think thats it so far.
First Post
Hello world!
I'm setting up this blog to discuss issues that face us Christians in today's modern world. More than anything, to try to seperate solid theological principles from longstanding traditions. Along the way there will be a healty dose of cynicism and probably be some poking of fun at the more conserative, fundamentalist Christian out there.
I'm staying anonymous because I want this to be a forum for discussing issues which are taboo in Christian circles, as well as those slightly more acceptable. I'm not an authority on anything, and am just gonna ramble on. It would be good if it provokes disucssion, so please leave your comments.
I'm setting up this blog to discuss issues that face us Christians in today's modern world. More than anything, to try to seperate solid theological principles from longstanding traditions. Along the way there will be a healty dose of cynicism and probably be some poking of fun at the more conserative, fundamentalist Christian out there.
I'm staying anonymous because I want this to be a forum for discussing issues which are taboo in Christian circles, as well as those slightly more acceptable. I'm not an authority on anything, and am just gonna ramble on. It would be good if it provokes disucssion, so please leave your comments.
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